A wise woman once wrote,
I, too, am saddened by so much of what I read in blogs, and comment threads are even worse. It’s as if writers are grabbing the mike and running to the stage without having once practiced the song they are about to force onto the audience. At first it seems funny and then it just seems sad, desperate, irresponsible.
Raging, inarticulate personal attacks in comments and posts are becoming all too common.
There are blogs that are devoted just to criticizing other blogs. And it’s not just attacks because of political views, but attacks based on, well, anything that doesn’t suit the “reviewer.”
There are also bloggers who go around biting ankles in comments.
Regrettably I’ve done both. This post is what’s left after all the spittle has been wiped away and people began talking civilly.
“It’s easy to tear down than to build up,” said my mother (though I suspect not just mine), and the truth of that is becoming more and more evident in blogs and comments. A few examples show the childish creativity we employ (and I’ve included my own comments in this list):
- don’t feel bad because you’re dumb
- as obviously immature as you are
- It’s called symbolism — does that elude you? I know the topic of my post did.
- lots of passion here and lots of anger but not much reason
- the world may not miss you
- These people are cowards
- So as to be clear — we wish there to be no misundertandings — you are an in idiot. While I’m sure you have plenty of self esteem and the trophies to prove it, you remain an idiot.
- Have fun in Poland, hope you aren’t Jewish.
- a mean spirited, self-centered liar, spreading small-minded insults
- I cannot believe there are people like you out there, but then again, you are from [location deleted]
- Damn! In the above post, some idiot forgot to edit before he sent […]
- She is articulate; you are not. She is thoughtful; you are not.
- When you grow up and enter the real world you’ll realize that common sense and rational judgement [sic] will take you a lot farther than anger, bitterness and sarcasm
There is a full range of personal attacks and libel here. There are subtle jibes:
- “Does that elude you? I know the topic of my post did.” — naturally implies, “You’re a dolt because you didn’t understand my post.”
- “When you grow up and enter the real world” implies, “You’re childish now.”
There are not so subtle jabs:
- a mean spirited, self-centered liar, spreading small-minded insults
- I cannot believe there are people like you out there, but then again, you are from [location deleted]
There are nuclear strikes:
- don’t feel bad because you’re dumb
- as obviously immature as you are
And at least one hinted at something much bigger than a personal attack: “Have fun in Poland, hope you aren’t Jewish.”
Some of these comments were catalysts for others in the list, so it’s easy to see how things can spin out of control.
We attack; we get attacked; we retaliate more viciously than we were attacked; one of our friends sees the tangle and jumps in to help — soon it’s a playground brawl.
The problem is that the blogosphere is messy. It’s part of the aptly called “the web,” so it’s inherently difficult to track everything down and find out who indeed did start. By jumping in, as I have foolishly done, we may end up attacking the attacked when we should have turned our backs on the whole mess and gone to hang out at the swings.
“If you can’t say anything nice…”
Another problem is that the internet is essentially anonymous, and thus emotionally free:
People have no hesitation at being ugly over the internet simply because there is no cost to them. There is no personal investment to online discourse. The lack of personal interaction allows people to be as ugly as they want to be” which is often pretty ugly (Robert Fenton)
It’s like the crank calls my friends and I used to make back in the eighties when there was no caller ID and we were simply voices on the other end of the line. We can create whole personas on the internet, complete with false pictures, names, stats everything. And in that liberated, new “us,” some of us show the darker, more immature sides of ourselves more often than we do in person. We’re all split personalities, as role theory points out, but the online personality can have a bit uglier voice than the others.
“I always think it is a shame when people stoop to personal attacks on other people, no matter what the medium” (Renee). My crank calls were never not so vitriolic as some of the things I’ve seen in comments.
In the end, it’s obviously better to sit back and watch the cat fights than to get involved. Sound advice for myself, a bit too late.
I have come across this blog too. (I guess through BE or BC)
Since I am from Iowa, I keep thinking about leaving her a nasty comment, but then I remember what my mother used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice…”
And that is the rule I follow when I am in the blog-o-sphere. I wish others would do the same. I always think it is a shame when people stoop to personal attacks on other people, no matter what the medium.
but the difference between you guys and me, is that I am expressing my opinion about Iowa-a place, a thing, not a person. You people are attacking me because I don’t like Iowa. See the difference? I’m expressing my opinion, you are attacking ME for having a different one than you. Just becuase I don’t like your precious Iowa does not mean that I am nasty, immature, unthoughtful, etc. Have you read my other serious posts? Sometimes people just complain to get things off their chest. I have been the victim of numerous racial slurs here (one which resulted in someone’s face getting broken by a drunk frat boy) and feel more racial tension than anywhere else I have ever lived (LA, Portland, Seattle, Austin, Houston, etc). I’ve seen more violence here than anywhere else. Just last year a student murdered another student by punching him in the head. A bouncer followed someone out of a bar and punched him in the back of the head and gave him severe brain damage. C’mon people, can you My family doesn’t give a shit when I say that. I love Seattle and Austin. People hate Seattle b/c it rains too much or too liberal or filled with pot smoking hippies. People hate Austin because it’s small, hot and in Texas. WHO CARES?!? I was extremely eager to move to Iowa and to attend the law school here. I had no preconceptions-I had an open mind. However, my experience here over the years has been negative and nasty. So get over it. You are the ones who are intolerant of other people’s opinions by using coments to personally attack someone’s post. Just be glad that you didn’t have the experience that I had; don’t turn nasty and personally attack me because I happened to have the experiences that I did. If you posted how much you hated Seattle, I wouldn’t care. That’s just you and your experience in Seattle. I personally like Seattle. I’ve spent time in NYC and don’t see what’s so great about it but it’s such a popular city. But when I tell my friends that in NYC, they don’t take it personally. I don’t think they care. Iowa City, like nyc, like Seattle, LA, etc. is a unique city and not everyone fits and not everyone is welcome. Why can’t you people just get that and get over it? Don’t take things so personally when other people express their opinions about something you may like. It’s ridiculous to get so worked up because someone doesn’t like your city. And believe me, there are plenty of horrible things that have happened to me that I don’t feel like repeated that if you experienced them, or if your friend or someone close experienced it, you would hate Iowa too.
oh,and what are you talking about? spreading personal attacks through other people’s web logs? I did no such thing. As I recall, someone linked to my site who had a page that called me “hideous”. I’ve never seen this page before, I never contacted this person before and her post was quite slanderous. My friend commented and told me about it and I told my other friends about it and they posted comments in return. Don’t try to defend your personal attack and your own guilt of doing what you are comdemning by falsely alledging that I was the one who went on to other people’s blogs and spread hate first.
“C’mon people, can you My family doesn’t give a shit when I say that.”
ARG something is wrong with your comment thing. The sentence said: “C’mon people, can you not understand why I might dislike Iowa now? My family is from LA-I hate LA. My family doesn’t give a shit when I say that.”
I’ve found, through my participation in online forums, that this occurs all the time. People have no hesitation at being ugly over the internet simply because there is no cost to them. There is no personal investment to online discourse. The lack of personal interaction allows people to be as ugly as they want to be…which is often pretty ugly. In my experience, a face to face meeting with this type of person reveals a much meeker personality…
I do love, however, that she thinks a #18 law school is the pinnacle of existance….
I guess she couldn’t get in at #17??
I’m actually not meek in person. I would dominate an oral debate any day. Nice try. Although I do think you probably are and so is Zelda. And I wrote #18 because I was told that I was immature and that no one wants me to be their lawyer. I was only defending my stats.
I also chose Iowa because it’s a damn good school and it should be higher ranked but it has to take 85% of instate applicants, and Iowa is a small state unlike California, so our instate applicants pale in comparison.
I also got in to better schools but couldn’t afford them and Iowa gave me a hell of a lot of money to come. I don’t regret coming to the law school itself.
And I’m only going to say this once: I AM ONLY RESPONDING IN KIND TO NASTY COMMENTS THAT I RECEIVED. I DID NOT START IT, NOR DID I PROVOKE THEM. THESE PEOPLE ARE COWARDS AND UNHAPPY IN LIFE SO THEY CHOSE TO ATTACK ME THAT DAY FOR NO REASON. SO GO ATTACK THE PEOPLE WHO DID (e.g. ZELDA), NOT THOSE WHO ARE RESPONDING TO RIDICULOUS, NASTY COMMENTS.